Neptune and Me

For those who know my history, I have been in a decades long battle with Neptune, the god of the sea.  Neptune has it in for me and he tortures me with water leaks.  He drives me crazy.  In this house alone we have had five water leaks in the basement–two pinholes leaks from water pipes, one of which destroyed half of the ceiling as it collapsed from the strain, and three bouts of water damage from gutters misbehaving.

Recently,we had a torrential rainstorm–four inches in an hour.  There was a raging river in our backyard and in the front yard.  One of our gutters that feeds into an underground drainage system backed up (because the drainage system is clogged, which is a whole ‘nother story) and the water poured out of the gutter, down the foundation, and into the basement.  We did not even know it until two days later.  I was vacuuming and when I passed over the carpet next to the wall, the vacuum moaned.  My hand confirmed that the carpet was soaked.  We had to move the furniture, rip out the carpet padding and run fans for a week.  Then we had carpet repairs and cleaning.  I cannot tell you how disruptive this is when you spend a lot of your time in the basement.  My gym was closed for repairs.

I then had to go to work figuring out how to manage that gutter.  It took me a few tries but I finally decided to disconnect the entire downspout and redirect it away from the underground system to another part of the yard.  It took a lot of trips to Lowe’s, a lot of cussing, a lot of mud all over me, but I wrestled it to the ground. I made a nice little rock fall for it so it looks nice too!  Hey, you have to be creative.

gutter spout rocks

But I confess, Neptune wins again.  I wish I knew what I did to earn his wrath. I have tried to apologize but he just will not listen.

One thought on “Neptune and Me”

  1. Came in expected cringeworthy teen fantasy about getting together with a sea god and was very, VERY pleasantly surprised 😭😂 good luck with all those leaks


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